YEAR LONG SPECTACLE FOLKS!!!

long time

2008-05-28T13:20:00.002-03:00

3 months, no posts?

i've been busy.

i graduated. i'm 21 with a degree. go figure.
i work at a call centre. a great one. i talk to new yorkers all day about their online grocery delivery service.
i live in a very colorful apartment with an even more colorful boy. our cat in monotone in color, but very bright in spirit.

last summer blew. this summer will be MAGNIFICENT. why?
a) everything isn't stupid
b) craig will be here for the month of august
c) we're going to go see RADIOHEAD
d) cut off shorts?

growlers in the sunshine, swimming at the lake, montreal, yes.

oh yeah. i never have to go back to antigonish ever again. my parents will be living in the south shore again in a matter of weeks. a summer without me being in chester for race week has happened once in my 21 years. it will never happen again. and now i'll have a bed to sleep in.

FUCKED

2008-02-03T04:48:00.000-04:00

tonight, i lost my boyfriend at the marquee.
then i tried to find him.

i went to a party with my friends from the nish, thinking he would be there;
but he wasn't..

then i called him at the house where we live. and he was there.
i told him i'd come meet him, then we'd go.

my friend louise lost her scarf and we had to search for it on west street.
then we ate a slice of pizza, and then kept looking.

then we went to the irving, cuz louise had to get something. i bought some chocolate bars.

i came home and he wasn't here. his shoes were here, his coats were here, but he wasn't.
i freaked out.

my cat got outside.
she ran away around the corner of the neighbor's house, then she ran around the communal garbage cans, and i finally caught her.

i brought her into the house where my boyfriend wasn't. i put her in the bedroom where i'm sure he wasn't, so she wouldn't run away again.

i freaked out some more and cried, because i didn't know where my bf was.
then heather heard some guitar playing in my bedroom.
and there he was.
my love was in the bedroom.

i cried some more because we had found him.
jared, heather, nicole and louise all gave me hugs.

louise is now sleeping on my couch, and my love, craig is now next to me.
it was a stressful half hour. but now he's here.

it's time for bed

my mom had surgery

2008-01-15T15:43:00.000-04:00

finally.

she's doing great.

hopefully this takes care of everything.

2008-01-11T21:19:00.000-04:00

i hate hate hate when people are phony.

like, when they're nice to your face, and then you find out they're saying totally fucked up things about you behind your back. and the stuff they talk about doesn't even concern them.

well, don't expect me to be civil to you ever again

2008

2008-01-01T17:04:00.000-04:00

my 21st year.

this past year has been my worst/best year.
although the bad things that happened this year... unexplainable,
the good things definetly out-weigh the bad.

in 2007
-i had a mohawk
-i lived in 3 different houses
-i turned 20, leaving teenager-dom behind for good
-i cut two people who made me feel terrible out of my life
-i started seeing a doctor regularily
-i've been a lot less sick
-i've quit smoking for a month
-i'm returned to my roots
-i had a job, cleaning up after crazy old people
-i ruined a friendship
-i did things that made my parents cry a whole lot
-after some work, i stopped doing the things that made my parents cry
-i weakened my immune system
-then, strenghtened my immune system
-i took a well needed break from school, then returned when i was ready and focused (and now i am doing well)
-i lost some friends, but got to figure out who my good good good friends are
-i joined journalist wolf, i started playing music with my love under the guise 'the incredible melting band' and i've continued vulva culture in secret
-oh yeah, i started dating this guy craig which was the best descision i've ever made, despite the negative consequences.
-i fell in love

the good definetly out-weighs the bad.

this year i...
-graduate with a degree
-i turn 21
-i get to travel with craig and music
-my parents cut the cord (scary, but not too bad)
-i get a full time job ( in my industry hopefully)

2007 was good, but 2008 will be incredible.

xmas

2007-12-18T23:55:00.000-04:00

4 more days of school.
no more terminator project, after tomorrow.
and i've gotten great marks in 3 classes. i only really have to worry about my studio management class and my location audio class. but i'm really just looking forward to this semester being over. having to do basically all the same stuff over again really blows.

xmas will be great, see my brother, spend time with the curries, see my folks. all that good stuff.

we went to chester last saturday. my friend always does a really burnt xmas play. this year it was a western.
they really have absolutely nothing to do with xmas, except in the finale, they sing an xmas carol.
after the show, they had the cast party and we stuck around and got completely smashed. we sang some songs, bought a painting, stole some flowers/beer.
the rest of the trip was pretty terrible. we forgot our bag on the bus so we had to walk around chester in the completely drenched clothes we wore the day before. also, the storm made the bus an hour and a half late. so we had to sit around in a convenience store for 2 hours, more hung over than i've ever been.
BUT
it turns out, my friend darren is a realtor in chester. i told him my parents were moving back to the south shore, and he remembered i lived in west chester. he apparently has two houses for sale in my parents price range IN west chester.
it's already a good thing that i'll never have to go back to antigonish. but now i'll also get to visit my parents in the neighborhood i grew up in. one of the houses is apparently right across the motherfucking street from my old house.

this is my absolutely last christmas i'm going to spend in antigonish. i guess i'll make it a good one.

pow

2007-11-26T13:16:00.000-04:00

isn't it a beaut?
can't wait for color

think

2007-11-15T19:25:00.000-04:00

what happened to pretending i don't exist?
i guess every now and then coming up for air to jab me in the side is alright.
i don't really care. i don't like you.

the new house is lovely. we got a bed a few days ago. it's nice to not have to sleep on the floor.
my hair is growing very fast. by summer it will be past my shoulders. that's my prediction.

my dad's back is hurt. he went from being fine to being bed ridden. i don't exactly know what happened.
well i guess it's just another goddamn asshole cop getting what he deserves

shirley maclaine

2007-11-11T11:57:00.000-04:00

what a woman.
i watched such films as 'hot spell' and 'the matchmaker' with my grandmother.
then i'd watched such films as 'terms of endearment' 'guarding tess' 'the evening star' and my favorite 'steel magnolias' with my mother. two generations, two shirley maclaines.
i would watch shirley maclaine movies with my hypothetical kid, if any of the movies she made recently were any good. bewitched? no dice.
i guess my kid will just have to watch shirley maclaine movies with his grandma and his great grandma.

i love chick flicks.
they're sad, but they're usually also funny.
because shirley maclaine is usually in them.

last night craig and i watched steel magnolias and we both cried. although we both hate julia roberts, the rest of the cast is pretty stellar. craig's got a pretty huge crush on dolly parton. pre-third boob job and face cave in dolly parton.

today we're going to drink wine and watch raiders of the lost arc on our couch.
if anyone wants to help move a bed tomorrow, that'd be cool.

not much new

2007-11-08T09:49:00.000-04:00

except a new apartment.
out of the slum into the sweet.
and this apartment IS sweet.

i also got digital cable, which is probably going to ruin my life. we get all these channels free for 3 months. i'm going to get hooked on them and have to buy them. dammit.
i'm already hooked on one. the drive-in classics channel. all 1950-1980 drive in movies all day.
again, dammit

back to my roots

2007-10-21T20:51:00.000-03:00

hello.

i'm a blonde again, it's pretty neat.

well, a dark blonde.

we still haven't heard from the girl about the apartment we want, but everything else is in order. sublet, dimo's blessing, etc.

school's going really well. i missed one day, which won't happen again. rock dollars can't happen that often anymore, that's all.
hopefully next semester's schedule will open up tuesdays for me.

if anyone has a copy of the ducktales movie, i'd really really really like to watch it.

psych

2007-10-09T01:16:00.000-03:00

craig got denied at the border.
so we went to antigonish and pictou for thanksgiving

pretty sure we're moving.
hopefully to a nice place.
if it's still available.
and everything else falls into place.

i've started school again. it's a pretty strange adjustment.
6 months will fly by though. just you wait and see.

i've been quite resentful lately.

an update:

2007-09-30T23:00:00.000-03:00

after a day of fermenting, craig's hand is delicious

the wolf

2007-09-30T03:24:00.000-03:00

it kills voices and hands

shift

2007-09-28T01:06:00.000-03:00

today was neat.
i woke up in a mansion in bruhl (spelling? i don't know) at 4:30am in possibly the worst state of my life. we travelled the 40 minutes it took to get back to pictou.
i didn't sleep. i promptly began throwing up. i threw up everything that had entered my body the previous day. including the 21mg of nicotine i got from the patch.

i felt better after a shower, and some water. but still not in a great state.
we were picked up by my father at around 2, and driven back to antigonish. i drove craig and myself back into town to visit my favorite teacher at the high school. unfortunately he wasn't there, but the regional is looking very nice. very different.

we drove back home and watched television while eating stew. still not in a great state, but doing much much better.

i got a phone call from nicole, we drove back into town to see her. she had a birthday present for me. i was instantly put into a good mood, and felt pretty much 100% better. she gave me a rocky action figure. i didn't even know what to say at first. my birthday had been a very rocky balboa birthday, indeed.

we drove around, and we came across katie, working at the moonlight. i was really happy to see her. i hadn't in almost a year.

antigonish isn't all bad

cabin fever

2007-09-24T10:28:00.000-03:00

this apartment is too small for two people. simple as that.
well, i guess it's too small for two people that have a lot of stupid stuff and one of them is a huge slob.
oh well. we're saving money.

craig and i are planning a trip. kind of like the one he did in august with lindsay, but in june, and heading south.
the places we plan to get to: boston, NYC, philadelphia, washington d.c., raleigh, savannah, athens, atlanta, knoxville, nashville, memphis, jackson, new orleans, albuquerque (i've always wanted to go there, because of bugs bunny) phoenix, las vegas, los angeles, fresno, santa cruz, san francisco, then to vancouver and back through canada.

anyway, that'll be fun. it just means we're stuck in this hole of an apartment for another 6 months.

i've quit smoking, which has been going well. i've had one drag of a cigarette in a little more than a week. which is promising. i've been somewhat cranky, but that's inevitable. i also had my wisdom teeth removed, which adds to the crankiness, but that's also inevitable.

i've been pretty happy for awhile, and i wish everyone could be in my place. i don't wish bad things upon anyone. i hope everyone is doing well.

we're going to pictou and antigonish for a few days before craig leaves again to visit franc for a week or so. i'm somewhat excited. i'm looking forward to seeing nicole, louise, and katie. it should be alright

well

2007-09-05T21:34:00.000-03:00

it takes two people to ruin a friendship. the person who does the wrong, and the person who doesn't forgive.
that's that. i don't want to dwell on it anymore.

back

2007-08-28T10:52:00.000-03:00

i'm in antigonish. i think craig has the flu. so he's sleeping and i'm using the computer.

craig is back! isn't that exciting? i missed him a lot.
he missed my birthday, but he gave me the most wonderful present.
the original script from 'rocky' by sylvester stallone. reading it is really fun.

i spent a few days in pictou. craig was returning on the 24th, so i borrowed a car from my family and i went to his cottage a day earlier to hang out with his parents. they're definite characters. i like them both a lot.

craig came home on the 24th. his dad and i picked him up. he gave me the biggest hug.
but his first night back, i ended up driving him to the hospital in new glasgow at 3am. then to needs at 7am to buy exlax. it was really romantic.

the cottage was great. a really really beautiful place. the water's perfect.

we went to a wedding on sunday. jeff and krista's. it was outside at a park. it was lovely.

now we're in antigonish. craig is sick again and my cat is being a jerk. i'll be glad to get back to the city.

bugs bunny cartoons

2007-08-16T16:51:00.000-03:00

i tried to find a video of 'long-haired hare' another one of my favorites. oh well

grover

2007-08-04T00:37:00.000-03:00

i've been sleeping with a grover doll for the past week and a half.

this past week has been kind of brutal. craig being gone/really really bad flare up. but i'm doing alright i suppose.

my last day of work is on the 13th. i'm kind of glad. it's tiring walking on eggshells ALL the time. and having lies started about you and stuff.

school begins in october. i've been doing lots of extra projects on my new macbook. it's a lovely machine.

i'm going to hang out in pictou i think, soon. and antigonish. before my brother leaves for st john's. maybe towards the end of the month, when craig is supposed to be back in nova scotia.

oh, i turn 20 in, 10 days i believe? that will be a fun rock dollars. and maybe tuesday night at charlie's. we'll see.

i guess that's all i really have to say.

anyone who wants to save me from being a huge sap all the time, let's eat some ethiopian food

i've got a pretty boyfriend

2007-07-25T19:28:00.000-03:00

sorry for getting all sappy.

2007-07-21T12:23:00.000-03:00

but i'm entitled to be a stupid girl

so happy

2007-07-11T18:11:00.000-03:00

la vie en rose.

life's going pretty good right now. i wake up to someone wonderful every morning, no school until october, a job i kind of like.
i've also gotten over some things. i'm done with some stuff.

but, in a few weeks, i'm going to be pretty sad.
craig is leaving for a month. i don't really know what i'm going to do with myself for that period of time. maybe i'll get a second job, make lots of money, and work on school stuff on my new macbook.
i'm probably going to get really skinny. i'll probably cry a lot. i'll try and leave my apartment, but i can't make any promises

bitter end

2007-07-06T03:03:00.000-03:00

that's bullshit.
that's all I have to say.

this weekend should be SO MUCH FUN!!!!!!!!!!!

"my lack of confidence is balanced by my ego"

2007-07-02T13:59:00.000-03:00

-richard laviolette

"i'm pretty much just waiting for the ball to drop."
"well, it's not going to drop. stop worrying."
kiss on the forehead

how do i love thee?

2007-06-29T12:35:00.000-03:00

chester was incredible.

my mother picked us up at 11 here in the city, and as we got closer to chester, i got more and more giddy. i would look in the mirror and craig would be laughing at me in the backseat.

we dropped our bag off at the lovely mecklenburg inn, and we met suzy. everyone in town apparently knows suzy. the following conversation happened about 20 times.

"where are you two staying tonight?"
"at the mecklenburg."
"OH!!! with suzy! suzy's so great!"

suzy IS so great.

we ate lunch with my mother at the seaside shanty. it's a tiny restaurant next to the docks in chester basin, it's famous for it's seafood chowder. none of us ate that though.

next, we drove through marriot's cove. that's my old neighborhood. westchester village is my old neighborhood, to be exact, but marriot's cove is right there. we drove past my old house. i almost burst into motherfuckin tears.

my mother dropped us off downtown and we took the scenic route to the dentist. at the dentist office i got lots of hugs (my mother used to work there) and my teeth were scraped. i have to get my wisdom teeth out, because they're growing into the side of my face. craig fell asleep in the waiting room reading a MASK magazine.

after the dentist we went to a terrible second hand store. i bought a striped tshirt and craig got a highlighter green tshirt. we then ate ice cream and walked barefoot to the golf course. there's a beautiful view of the ocean from the golf course. we sat there for a moment drinking gatorade we got from a machine. $2.25. ridiculous, huh?

we walked back to the mecklenburg and changed into our swimming clothes. we walked to the water front, past the yacht club and the quarterdeck. it took a little coaxing, both from me and an old british man fishing on the wharf, but i got craig in the water. we only swam for a few minutes because we had to meet my mother for dinner at the ropeloft.

dinner at the ropeloft was insane. so much bloody food. craig ate jambalaya, i had fettucine, and my mother ate the haddock. we talked about a variety of things. my mother really loves craig, and i think he likes her. she gives him hugs, which is really funny, because he gets all uncomfortable.

about two minutes after leaving the ropeloft, just as i was saying how much i wished we could go out on the water, some friends of the family invited us for a cruise on their boat daddy go faster i step on the boat and there he is. my dad's arch nemesis, harry davis. there's a lot of history between my dad and the davis family, but harry is no more than a harmless old drunk who has a lot of funny things to say. he was nice to me, asked me about my dad and stuff. he put a good dent in his quart of gin, he smoked pot with craig and a few others on the boat, and told us a lot about osprey. he sure does know a lot about osprey. we cruised around the peninsula and checked out all the mansions. we were fishing for mackeral, competing against another boat full of friends.

now, the next thing that happened was pretty weird. after catching a few fish, we pulled up along side the other boat, docked at mark island (one of the 367 islands in the bay) and we cooked the fish. one of the women on the other boat is very allergic to fish, and starting grasping her chest and panting for breath. the next thing i know, she's collapsed on the floor of the boat, we're speeding back to shore, and 911 is being called. we get to shore and find out she's alright. we decided to take off after that. i don't really know what else to say about that experience except, "wow, that was fucked"

it's about 10 pm and we decide to play scrabble. i kicked craig's ass. i beat him by about 56 points or something. after my victory, we went to the fo'c'sle tavern, the oldest rural tavern in the province. i saw some good folks there, drank some beer, and talked to a tanked old man who gave us extraordinary life advice.

we decided to turn in around 1 am, planning to wake up early for a hopefully amazing breakfast. our expectations were definetly blown away after eating this breakfast. homemade pancakes with slices of strawberries in them, local maple syrup, whipped cream made with rum, and served next to delicious homemade sausages. and rhubarb juice. has anyone even ever heard of rhubarb juice?!?! probably not.

it was then, unfortunately time to check out and come back to the city. we're both in love with chester, and we'll both go back again.

p.s. this is the longest blog post i've ever done

you guys

2007-06-20T23:33:00.000-03:00

you're all fuckin assholes

i wanna start some fires!!

2007-06-16T19:38:00.000-03:00

cop involvement in protests.
cops arresting protestors.

what the fuck?! when did this start happening.

cops are involved because it's their jobs. it's how they buy their kids christmas presents. they're prepared for the worst. which is where the riot gear comes in. cops arrest people who break laws, which are set by higher powers. cops use force when those being arrested resist. also part of their job.

just fuck off already with the cop bashing. please? most people who do it are full of shit and do it because they think it's cool. cops are around for a reason. humans are slaves of sensation, and a lot of pleasures out there damage the lives of other people. when humans are no longer slaves of sensation, then cops need not exist. until then, stop it

2007-06-13T14:14:00.000-03:00

a few hours of laundry
many more hours of lying in bed
and a machine that makes little silver things.
that's what puts a smile on my face.

i'm pretty much done feeling awkward. i've gotten past it. others should too.

today i was cleaning the bathroom on the main floor of the royal oxford. david fox needed to use it. he ended up having an accident. i felt really bad

people

2007-06-10T14:21:00.001-03:00

my parents were around this weekend. craig met my dad. we drove around in the cop van. it was pretty fun. my mom's birthday was yesterday, i didn't have a present for her, but neither did my dad. i'll make her a painting soon.
i got more romance novels from the free book box in HCAP.

quitting smoking.
day #3: half a cigarette has been smoked. i was in a terrible mood this morning and took it out on my poor mother.

weird night

2007-06-09T10:58:00.000-03:00

that's all i wanted to say

drowning voices and octave pedals

2007-06-07T12:55:00.000-03:00

i miss having long hair, a lot
i like being covered in fake blood, a lot

the skygreen leopards were birthed from flowers, i'm pretty sure.

i think this fall i'll get a passport

last night was pretty funny. i like journalist wolf a lot. but i hate patrick swayze

life is good

2007-05-30T17:25:00.000-03:00

i've been feeling prettier.
i've been feeling healthier.
i've been on top of the world.

50s music is bewitching

i started working at the royal oxford, a home for adults with post mental illness. old people are pretty adorable.

i've been working on quitting smoking, but it isn't going so well. in fact, i'm smoking a cigarette right now.

i'm in a pretty terrible mood today

2007-05-21T00:34:00.001-03:00

some things shouldn't be told to some people.

today was a mixture of both absolutely amazing and the worst day of my life

shiner

2007-05-19T10:04:00.000-03:00

i was punched in the face by spryfield chicks on wednesday night. it's a pretty funny story. if i like you, and you like me, i'll tell you about it

my new worst enemy

2007-05-15T12:30:00.000-03:00

julia,craig and i stopped by. we sat on top for while. getting off wasn't very fun

a clean slate

2007-05-13T13:34:00.000-03:00

my terrible past with video difference was wiped clean, and i've been renting up a storm in the last few days.
i rented rosemary's baby last night. the guy reviewed my rental past, and had trouble keeping a straight face. here's my track record:

1.tron (awful)
2.lady and the tramp (wonderful)
3.dirty dancing 20th anniversary (classic)
4.season 4 box set of columbo (YES!)
5.rosemary's baby

hahaha

this past month has been full of revelations.
1.i'm not that bad a person
2.i'm capable of doing really stupid things
3.walking is good for me, and fullfilling
4.i don't mind sharing a bed with someone as i thought i did

spencer the dinosaur

2007-05-06T20:35:00.000-03:00

he's a diplodicus. he lives on my arm, and he's precious.
laura dawe is pretty precious too

things i learned today

2007-05-02T13:53:00.000-03:00

-sitting on the steps of the bank on spring garden is a nice way to kill time
-a few tears in front of a boy is a thousand times worse than sobbing in front of a group of strangers
-i have -$7.80 in my bank account
-grilled corn is delicious
-my doctor loves punk music. his favorite band is bad brains
-sunglasses are great, whether it's sunny or cloudy
-i can write really good songs for 10 minutes at a time
-reading someone to sleep is satisfying

the tourist

2007-05-02T02:36:00.000-03:00

it barks at no one else but me
like it's seen a ghost
i guess it's seen the sparks a-glowin,
no one else would know

hey man slow down, slow down
idiot, slow down, slow down

sometimes i get overcharged
that's when you see sparks
they ask me where the hell i'm going
at a thousand feet per second

hey man slow down, slow down
idiot, slow down, slow down

-----------------------------------------
i learned how to play this song tonight. i also learned how to play 'pale blue eyes' and 'these days'
the tourist sounds really pretty

purple monkey dishwasher

2007-04-27T20:03:00.000-03:00

take the drink out of my hand and slap me before i say anything ever again.
this city's stupid

2007-04-23T00:26:00.001-03:00

maybe i shouldn't walk around in the north end by myself

mural #1

2007-04-15T00:55:00.000-03:00

after 12 hours and 6 containers of paint, my first mural is almost complete.

tomorrow: mural #2, drowning girl.

new house

2007-04-10T20:29:00.000-03:00

it's coming along. my mother and i spent the last two days fixing it up.
i won't have a shower, but my bathtub is beautiful, so i don't mind.
i'm painting two murals in my apartment. one in the bedroom, and one in the bathroom, behind my bathtub.

bedroom:

bathroom:

i've been feeling anxious lately. i shaved my mohawk off a few days ago. i miss long hair sort of.

2007-04-10T01:42:00.000-03:00

you dir-ey bahhhstard.
wha a rohta.
you dir-ey fahka
wha a rohta.

the teenages

2007-03-31T07:59:00.000-03:00

sometimes my life is so much like dawson's creek. in a bad, bad way.
the reason i love that show is because it's hilariously ridiculous. kids attempting to live their lives like adults, but end up being really really stupid.
everyone is polite to everyone else. everyone cares a lot about everybody's feelings.
but they're all really really stupid.
i'm stupid, other people are stupid. we're all really fucking stupid. halifax is one big cesspool of idiocy and dishonesty, with a few speckles of intelligence here and there.

be honest. that's all i want to say.

(don't jump me internet vikings. i don't consider myself a speckle)

i have....

2007-03-29T17:11:00.001-03:00

A NEW HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i got the apartment above the one world!!!!! i'm so excited!
it's super cheap, i'm all alone, i'm not in a gross basement, and i'm above the one world!!!!

i'm sad i won't be so close to a certain BFF, but i'm a short bikeride away!

YEAH!

WHOA

2007-03-27T02:53:00.000-03:00

RIP vcr

2007-03-26T18:37:00.000-03:00

i'm pretty sure my vcr is busted. which makes me terribly sad. i can no longer watch the plethora of vhs tapes that i've stolen from friends and video stores over the past 3 years. my favorite vhs is rocky V. what an inspirational movie.

sorry tank girl. i'll miss you too.

edward scissorhands

2007-03-24T14:50:00.000-03:00

i always love watching this movie with people who have never seen it before. i've seen it about 8000 times, and i always cry like a stupid baby. and so does everyone else who has blood pumping through their veins

making progress

2007-03-22T19:57:00.000-03:00

i guess.
my 'fresh start' is beginning to sour a little bit. i've done some good stuff, but i've had more set backs than accomplishments. i guess i'm on the right track though.

i'm anxious to move out of my house. i've got tons of options, some brighter than others. i'm looking forward to a break from school, not so much to getting a job. but it will just be part time.

alright, here's my shopping list so i don't forget later.

milk
margarine
hairspray
cigarettes
cat litter
frozen broccoli
febreze
laundry detergent
dishwashing detergent

2007-03-18T14:29:00.000-03:00

an interesting weekend.

whenever jen and i go out, it usually ends with one of us completely inebriated, and the other one much less inebriated. the latter takes care of the former, and the night is great. ha. not this past weekend. we both got extremely fucked on friday night. we cried together. we laughed together. we acted like idiots together. it was brilliant.
then, saturday, neither of us were drunk. we drank green juice, ate shitty pizza and watched quantum leap for hours. newwave was there too.
quantum leap is an incredible show. the scribbler set was lovely.

shoes

2007-03-14T16:35:00.000-03:00

i now own two pairs of plaid shoes.
and one pair of flaming red 5 inch heeled boots. they match my keytar perfectly (on purpose)

kill da wabbit!

2007-03-12T09:41:00.000-03:00

from yer first cigarette, ta yer last dyin' day

2007-03-11T23:27:00.000-03:00

west side story. great movie

fresh start.... maybe?

2007-03-08T21:15:00.000-04:00

so, after the past few months, i think it's time for a pretty fresh start.
it's time to take care of myself.

i had a conversation with my teacher lil about 2 months ago. we discussed me taking time off of school, figuring stuff out, and then coming back to finish.
i automatically said no, because i didn't want to put that burden on my parents.
we had the same conversation today, and it seemed like a very very very good idea.
i would take off april, may and june, then come back in july for a semester.

i'm also in line to get a new apartment. my friend nicole is going to take my place until june, then she's going to move into my new place. which will either be brent's old place on church street, or a place on windsor my mom found. or the place on robie. who knows.

i'm also thinking of going to a centre in dartmouth for a little bit. maybe. it might help. but i don't know about that. we'll see.

i've got high hopes for the next few months. i think i'm done trying to solve a problem that is apparently un-solvable. at least for right now, i think it's best to leave it alone. i need to focus on making things better for myself.

atlanta,georgia

2007-03-06T10:08:00.000-04:00

what is it with atlanta and car insurance?
i've never seen more car insurance commericials on television than i have on tbs

epic

2007-03-06T08:32:00.000-04:00

yesterdays episode of dawson's creek was a big one. it was a good one.

pacey and joey struggle to find a way to tell dawson about their romance. andie reveals to joey that she still has feelings for pacey, making joey feel even worse.

anyway, in the end, both dawon and andie find out. dawson is furious. andie is devistated. pacey and joey decide to break up.

i can't wait for todays episode. maybe it will cheer me up a little bit. my head's been quite cloudy for the past few days

a time line.

2007-02-27T20:04:00.001-04:00

in junior high: jello shots at lunchtime
in high school: vodka in a nalgene bottle during class, flask during lunchtime
now: fireball and gin

i miss the adventure of drinking in public

ex-smoking room

2007-02-20T11:55:00.000-04:00

last night at RFD, kerri and i were spectators of a three person make out session, followed by a girl on girl brawl.
two girls and a young man, it was pretty cute, then all of a sudden another girl flies across the room and swats one of the girls in the face. then it's the three girls on the floor smacking each other. this took place in the smoking room. it was pretty neat

so

2007-02-18T17:29:00.000-04:00

i guess i've been erased.
that's alright i suppose.
so, i'm pretty upset about it, but there's not really anything i can do.

time to nurse this terrible cold

2007-02-16T15:39:00.000-04:00

i think the 'creep' tattoo on my ass seeped into my blood and into my bones.
i've been watching a whole lot of television and movies on the internet. i'm okay with that.

i painted my wall. it's pretty interesting. it came from watching two movies on the internet. barbarella and the rocky horror picture show. i added my own little twist as well.

tetas de meurte

2007-02-12T19:41:00.000-04:00

tonight, i was delighted to stick around and watch a good friend fight robots with metallic bosoms.

a few classes in my school have been working on a trailer to submit in the south by south west (or whatever it's called) festival.
it's a film set in the 1970s, looking into the future where robots serve humans. but after the world runs out of oil, the robots start running on human blood.
it's kind of a tank girl-ish plot and my friend molly plays the lead roll. the trailer was lovely, and it's a movie i'd definetly go see.

www.deathtits.com
check it out

2007-02-02T18:31:00.000-04:00

i played about 7 hours of online tetris last night.
i watched the movie blazing saddles on my computar.
i've been awake since 8 o clock last night, and i've listened to the song 'pale blue eyes' about a hundred times in the last 3 days.
jesus, when did i become such a sack of shit?

pale blue eyes is a very good song though. i think i want someone to sing that for me at my funeral.
like rob in high fidelity 'it was always my dream to have some tearful, heartbroken woman insist on 'you're the best thing that ever happened to me' but who would that woman be?'

i think it's my dream to have some devestated, love scorched man sing 'pale blue eyes' at my funeral.

a new home

2007-01-29T22:32:00.000-04:00

i've lived in this house for almost a year and a half. i have to be out by june 30th. i know that's a long time from now, but it doesn't seem like it. plus, i think i'll probably start moving in may, so i can be moved out before my finals.
i don't think i like moving. i've had to move three times before. but i guess this is just a small move, from one street to another.
finding a one bedroom/bachelor apartment that's under $600 isn't as easy as i thought. i might need to get a room mate. which i'm not very happy about. i don't like living with people. i'd much rather live on my own.
but i guess one person couldn't be that bad. makes things a lot more affordable. my friend louise is always talking about moving out of antigonish. maybe i can convince her to move here.

in the mean time, if anyone knows of any bachelor/one bedroom or MAYBE a two bedroom apartment that will be available in may, or possibly april, let me know.

the internet didn't respond

2007-01-25T07:48:00.000-04:00

is it considered assault if you spit in someone's face?
it's not really harming them. there's no physical damage done.
it's just a big wad of saliva in their eye.

i tried looking it up, and all i could find was a story about a vietnam veteran arrested for spitting on jane fonda.
that doesn't really count though, because she's a celebrity, and celebrities can do whatever they want.

anyway, i'm just curious.

online surveys. the newest drug craze.

2007-01-22T15:06:00.000-04:00

TEN songs off the top of your head.
1. i don't wanna die
2. half day closing
3. white light/white heat
4. submission
5. friday night, saturday morning
6. me-jane
7. in a manner of speaking
8. china girl
9. how to disappear completely
10. creep

NINE favorite places.
1. chester
2. someone else's house
3. my bed
4. gus' pub
5. with my mom
6. chester
7. the first turn off into town, in antigonish
8. the highway to get to chester from east chester
9. chester

EIGHT favorites.
1. my cat, edie sedgwick
2. macdonald. special light, king size
3. my friend jen
4. my 'creep' tattoo
5. last wednesday
6. mohawk
7. my birthday
8. other people's bithdays

SEVEN favorite memories.
1. when my dad introduced me to people as his little girl. last year at christmas
2. jen,heather,jared, brax and i going to the lake
3. mike d and i on mushrooms outside heather's house
4. sleeping in godwin's basement with meghan after the robot party
5. when i was in les miserables. and in oliver! for festival antigonish
6. my first date with patrick. when we got stoned, watched a movie, then threw a computar monitor off a bridge to see how thick the ice was.
7. when i went to see patrick in PEI and i got off the bus. i had been sitting next to this lady on the bus who was going through a terrible divorce. she must have been in her late 50s. i told her i was going to visit my boyfriend, and she got all sentimental. when i got off the bus, pat found me and gave me a huge hug and kissed me. i saw the lady looking at us with a big stupid grin on her face.

SIX dates that are important to you.
1. june 9th
2. july 12th
3. september 6th
4. december 29th
5. may 28th
6. august 25th

FIVE things you want.
1. to be healthier
2. to stop being stupid
3. to know how to play bass
4. a boy who will read to me
5. my parents to be happy

FOUR things you've done today.
1. slept
2. smoked
3. fed my cat
4. played online tetris

THREE cities you've been in.
1. halifax
2. calgary
3. moncton. does moncton count? if it doesn't, i'll combine charlottetown and moncton.

TWO tv shows you watch.
1. the simpsons
2. america's next top model

ONE thing you should be doing right now.
1] getting ready for class.

someone told me these things were therapeutic.

2007-01-22T03:13:00.000-04:00

because they make you think of yourself. i would say that's selfish, but i guess one has to take themselves into consideration sometimes.

here we go.

1.What is in the back seat of your car right now?
i don't own a car. but when i drove a car, the backseat was usually covered in cds, toys and garbage

2. What and when was the last thing you threw up?
today. i threw up water

3. What's your favorite curse word?
cunt. or shit

3. Menthol or regular cigarettes?
regular

4. What is your favorite episode of Friends?
when rachael does laundry for the first time

5. Does anyone have any blackmail on you?
probably

6. If you could marry any celebrity today who would it be?
sylvester stallone

7. Have you been to a strip club?
no

8. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
a portrait my friend rachael drew of me on pink butcher paper

9. Are you wearing socks right now?
yes. tube socks. they're really dirty

10. What was the last thing you had to drink?
water

11. What are you wearing right now?
a black dress, black long johns and a black sweater

12. Last food you ate?
popcorn

13. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
no

14. When is the last time you ran?
the last time it rained

15. What's the last sporting event you watched?
golf. with my father. ages ago

16. Last movie you saw?
the craft

17. Who is the last person you sent a message to on myspace?
derrick. it was a lovely message

18. Ever go to camp?
yeah. a couple of times. i can't remember the name

19. Were you an honor roll student in school?
no, i wasn't. i was awful in high school. i barely graduated. i remember we were given these cards at the ceremony with our names, awards, scholarships etc. we had to give them to the guidance conselor when we got onstage. mine was empty, except my teacher gave me a special sort of honours thing for getting the highest mark on my provincial exam. i think i had a 60 in english or something.
i wrote 'great achievements in mediocrity' on my card, and my guidance conselor ALMOST read it.

21. Do you have a tan?
no

22. How old do you want to be when you have kids?
i don't want to have children ever.

23. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?
all the time.

25. Are you someone's best friend?
i believe i am

26. What do all your ex's have in common?
they were always older than me. they all liked skateboarding and bacon. they all did a lot of drugs. my dad hated all of them

27. Where is your dad right now?
in antigonish

28. What was the last thing you said?
'bye'

29. What color is your watch?
black

30. What do you think of when you think of Australia?
those things in trees

31. Ever ridden on a roller coaster?
maybe. i can't remember.

32. Three words that describe you?
i'm finding it hard to define myself lately without being self deprecating. i'll give it a shot.
musical. un-naturally brunette and blue-eyed.

33. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
either or

35. What is your favorite number?
14

36. Ever been in love?
sure

37. What happened to you in 1993?
i cut all my hair off with craft scissors and was attack by pigeons

38. 1995?
my brother cut the top of my finger off

39. Does your first memory involve your dad?
probably.

40. Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
it's kind of cold in my room

41. Do you like watching a bonfire?
no. it hurts my eyes

42. Are you allergic to anything?
antibiotics. MSG apparently. a few other types of medicine

43. Favorite shoes of all time?
umm, my boots i guess.

44. What is one thing you've learned about relationships?
that when a bo breaks up with you, you're allowed to wear sweat pants for a month and no one can say a word to you about it

45. Are you jealous of anyone?
sure

46. Is anyone jealous of you?
i don't think so

47. Do you ever take medication to fall asleep?
i take seditives most nights

48. What CD is in your stereo?
nothing is there right now. the CDs piled on top of my stereo are:
the unicorns-who will cut our hair when we're gone?
a/v-hot action
juan love-the dawn of paradise awaits
dog day-thank you
pj harvey-to bring you my love

49. Do you do your own dishes?
occasionally

50. Would you date anyone covered in tattoos?
if they were nice

i'm a mess

2007-01-21T20:46:00.000-04:00

this isn't just another ending to something that never began. i think this is my last straw.
i think i'm done trying. i think i'm finished.
yeah, i think so

2007-01-15T19:50:00.000-04:00

maybe i'm smoking too much, and playing too much online tetris, but i feel gross.

i had a wacky dream last night. it involved the guys fixing my computar. they became my best friends after all of my current friends told me they didn't actually like me. towards the end of my dream, i went on a date with the boy i have a crush on.
and by 'a date' i mean we watched disney movies in my living room/kitchen, then made out. he didn't sleep over, because my room was messy and he was afraid of my room mates. so he walked home.

cooking

2007-01-10T16:21:00.000-04:00

i'm baking bread tonight. foccacia bread to be exact.
i'm also making salad dressing. poppyseed salad dressing to be exact.

i think it will be fun. although i'm feeling lousy and really shaky today. today's a bad day.

i'm going to make a big dinner tomorrow night. both the bread and the salad dressing will be featured. along with med chicken, mango and spinach salad and maybe roasted red pepper soup. we'll see how ambitious i'm feeling tomorrow.

if i had a hundred eyes, i would use them all on you

2007-01-06T15:29:00.000-04:00

what a lousy day.
i don't like feeling like a moron.
or feeling like death.

10am-woke up. i don't know what time i got home last night. i had a bath for some reason

10:40am to 11;30-straight vomiting. it was funny, i kept kind of wishing someone was taking pictures of me. i could have some great pictures of myself on the bathroom floor, mohawk bent to one side, wearing a towel, puking.

11:30 to 12-attempting to smoke a cigarette and throwing up some more. i lost my lighter, so i had to go upstairs and light my smoke on the stove. then lying in bed in my towel listening to the cd a boy gave me last night.

12:05-called kelsey to get some reassurance that i wasn't a creep last night. i shouldn't drink on an empty stomach. and with no sleep. and when i haven't taken my medicine all day.

12:30 to 1:30-i think i might have slept?

1:30 to 1:50-another attempt at smoking sans puking. no dice.

2pm-got dressed and dried my hair.

2:30-felt a little better. drank a lot of water. threw up.

3pm-successfully smoked a cigarette sans puking.

now-kind of just sitting around. maybe i'll go pick up my sweaters at kelsey's. but i'm kind of nervous.

why? who knows

breakfast

2007-01-04T07:54:00.000-04:00

when i was in antigonish, i ate breakfast everyday. i never realized how much i missed breakfast.
since i've been back in halifax, everyday has started with breakfast.
yesterday i had brunch with newwave and i ate french toast for the first time in ages.

i think i'm going to treat myself to some mcdonalds breakfast this morning. it's the hashbrowns. no one understands how lovely they are.

this post required a lot of effs. the eff key broke off of my laptop. annyoing? yes.

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14 effs

oh, there's two more.

dammit

a plethora of disney movies

2006-12-29T20:15:00.000-04:00

disney movies.
awesome.
i think i'll be taking a lot of them back to halifax with me.

my favorite disney movie? robin hood. obviously. roger miller as a lute playing rooster? robin hood a sexy fox? prince john a cowardly, and apparently female, lion? awesome. my favorite song from that movie is 'not in nottingham.' it's so sad.

i've watched aladdin, robin hood, the lady and the tramp and the little mermaid today.

here's a song from aladdin.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EkT8Dz2YLk

shitty christmas: 1992-2006

2006-12-20T02:35:00.000-04:00

there's always something wrong with christmas.
this year was shaping up to be an ok christmas.
my brother and i both away from home, so we appreciate everything so much more.
my dad and mom BOTH having ALL DAY off.
my mohawk.
you get the picture.

well, i guess i'm gonna be bringing something brand new to the table.
i'm sure it will seem like it's raining shit by the 26th.

i'm nervous, and i'm sad. and i feel awful.
i'm all anxious about a new boy that's entered the picture. gross. i feel like i've been jabbed in the kidneys 800 times.
and i was upstairs watching tv all excited about smoking my last cigarette(until tomorrow)
but as it turns out, i'd already smoked it.

i love jen

2006-12-09T04:14:00.000-04:00

jen is my best friend.

i haven't had a lot of best friends in the past.
my friends are my friends. i see them all the time.
but jen. that's a different story.

jen.
she became by best friend when she walked home with me from the apple barrel once.
we talked about my crush on sean macgillivray.
she was around when that crush died.
she was around for pretty much everything.
this year has been extraordinary. emotionally, it's been the worst year of my life.
my first best friend died. she was my best friend when we were 5 or 6 years old. her father is severly distrurbed, psychologically, and she died when she asked her father to kill her. and he did. he beat her head in with a hammer. after i heard this news, i wanted to die a little bit. but jen was around. she didn't know the whole story, but no matter what, she was still around.
i don't care what fucking shit people have with her. she is my best friend in the world. and those people can say whatever they want. this girl is part of me now.

jen, seriously, i don't know what i would do without you right now. we have to talk serious about something very soon. it's something very serious i've brought up previously. i'll explain face to face.

i just thought, right now, that i should express that you are my very best friend. and i don't think i could ever lose you as a best friend.

alright. off to bed. then to work. then to figure out how to tell someone something that is weird and scary.

new ashtray...

2006-12-08T09:36:00.000-04:00

...stale pizza crust. works perfectly.

news: i hate doctors.
i'm never using febreeze in my room ever again. i want my cat to live

werk smerk

2006-12-02T00:06:00.000-04:00

so.
my last day at the italian market is on the 15th. i was there longer than i was at my last job. that's pretty much all i'm proud of.
i like the people i work with a whole lot. most of them anyway.
but 100% of my attention and energy has to be focused on school.
and 100% of my money has to go towards my $496 visa bill.

goddammit

hotshotrobot set

2006-11-25T02:49:00.000-04:00

someone told me i have a 'rockstar smirk'
then an old man yelled at me.

i'm going to be a rockstar.
my first song is going to be about edmund kemper. it's called 'kemper doesn't want to fuck my head'

what does that say?

i think the 'creep' tattoo is a magnet

2006-11-22T19:26:00.000-04:00

any girls going to smithsbooks in the scotia square mall. avoid a man named eric (tall, with graying hair and glasses). if he approaches you, simply say:

'hey! aren't you that [married] weirdo who got my friend amy's number off of a form she filled out in your store? and didn't you call her and ask her on a date? that's pretty gross.'

amy v, the celebrity

2006-11-16T20:32:00.000-04:00

photographers and tabloid magazine journalists wait for the famous amy v. as her car pulls up, they are ready with their cameras and questions

amy's car pulls up to curb and stops. the door swings open and amy is hit with the light of hundreds of camera flashes. the first journalist runs up to her to ask his important questions

'amy! amy! right here! where is your favorite place to watch shows in the city!?'

'oh that's an easy question! definetly the grawood! it's SUCH a great venue!'

amy pulls a pair of chanel glasses out of her balancegia handbag, adorns them, and poses for a few pictures before heading into the grawood, her favorite bar in the city of halifax

house of total bullshit

2006-11-15T02:14:00.000-04:00

(start of scene)

gordan-hey jamie, what happened to that sheet that we put on the couch?

jamie-well, i've been sleeping on a bare mattress for about a month, so i thought i'd put it back on my bed. and by 'we put it on the couch' you mean you put it on the couch, right?

gordan-well, it was just sitting on the couch. if it's yours you should put it in your room. this is the common room, everything in it is the whole household's possession.

jamie-it wasn't sitting on the couch, it was hanging to dry, because nothing dries properly in my room. and when you say everything in the kitchen is the household's possession, that's bullshit.

(marley and ryan enter the kitchen)
ryan-oh man, what's jamie freaking out about now?

jamie-nothing! i just think you guys shouldn't be pissed when i want my bedsheet back to put on my bed.

marley-well, it shouldn't have been in the kitchen in the kitchen in the first place.

ryan-yeah jamie, god forbid you give something up to better the look of the kitchen.

jamie-i would if it wasn't the only fucking bedsheet i have!

marley-oh that is such a lie. you have more than one bedsheet!

jamie-no! i really don't

marley-jamie, don't be so stupid

(jamie starts to get really upset)

jamie-i'm not lying! it's all i have!

gordan-whatever jamie

ryan-yeah jamie, geez

(an assholish laugh is shared between ryan and gordan. in the background, marley surveys a can of food with a dent in it.)

marley-hey guys, if a can has a concave dent in it, is it alright to eat? because i know cans with convex dents can contain bacteria.

(jamie speaks up, trying to avoid the previous subject)

jamie-i've eaten food from cans with concave dents. it's been fine. i'm pretty sure it's alright to eat anyway.

marley-well yeah, i'm not surprised you ate it. you'd eat anything. hey, gordan. what do you think?

gordan-well, i'd have to say whatever the opposite of what jamie said is the truth. jamie's pretty stupid. and a cokehead. well, that's what i told my mom anyway. hahaha my mom hates you jamie!

(jamie starts to cry)

ryan-jamie, stop being so fucking pathetic

gordan-yeah jamie! jeez, you know we're just kidding.

marley-most of the time we're kidding. sometimes you are pretty stupid.

ryan/gordan/marley-POUND THAT!!

(the boys thrust their fists together, as if they've accomplished something great. jamie goes downstairs, angry, but a lot more sad.)

annnnnndddd...... SCENE!!!!

that's another play i think i'm going to write. it's about a girl named jamie who's 3 male room mates alienate her to the point of depression. her male room mates (gordan, the 'hip' one, ryan, the 'rock star' and marley, the 'genius') seem to get kicks out of making her feel terrible. i don't know how it will end.

yes. this is KIND OF a hyperbole of what happens in my household. not all of it is exagerrated however. some of the things in this fantastic play have actually taken place. sure, the male room mates arn't AS terrible in real life. but they come pretty damn close.

i may not know how jamie will get out of the terrible place she is living in, but i do know how MY hellish arrangement at 1332 dresden row is going to end. as soon as the lease is up (come on july) i will most likely live by myself (well, edie sedgwick will come with me) wherever i can afford to. and i will most likely never associate with any of my awful room mates ever again. i think that will be quite nice.

mohhhhawwwwk

2006-11-13T22:17:00.000-04:00

today has been an interesting day

2006-11-13T17:45:00.000-04:00

it started with my hair turning gray.
well, that was my fault

then jen and i had a huge dinner at the great wall.

then i got a mohawk.

my mom is going to hate my guts

zoodles are pretty awesome

2006-11-07T22:20:00.000-04:00

this morning, was not a good morning.

but this afternoon was ok. lil played 4 of the 8 mixes of a song we all did a few weeks ago. we had to critique them without knowing who's was who's. all of them definetly needed some improvments, but everyone agreed the fourth mix was the best.
turns out mine was the fourth mix. it was kind of funny that some people seemed surprised. lil gave me a little wink. it was funny, and definetly a confidence booster.

i want their lovelives to begin

2006-11-01T03:32:00.000-04:00

i've started writing what i think could be words to songs.
it's mostly stuff i've written about sexual frustration, being an asshole, and the role that star magazine plays in my life.
some people say i'm not really an asshole.
but if you could see the thoughts that my brain creates, you would think i'm the biggest asshole in the world.
well, maybe 'asshole' isn't a great term. 'selfish bitch' fits the bill much better. i'm really a huge friggin' jerk. it's just none of you suckers get to see it.

i'd be horrible in band though. no one would ever come see me play. i'm like bob/joe version 2.0 in the play i want to write. i've got zero charisma. all i've got going for me is a big set of eyes. well, i've got big sets of other things. i guess people pay more attention to those than anything else.

the comfortable with mediocrity i get, the more disgusted i become. which is weird. i don't really know how it works, but the more uninteresting i get, the more i imagine being outstanding. it's kind of like a messed up supply/demand type thing.

i learned a lot about supply/demand in entrepreneurship class, which makes me wish i was back in the days of being the 'one step above highschool dropout' kid. those were good times. i was pretty cool. i wasn't very funny though, just 'talented'

there are a few people in the world who i wouldn't really care about if they died really terrible deaths. like the guy my dad shot, who was responsible for me losing every inch of innocence.
and the guy that did whatever he did to my mom. (i haven't though about this in awhile, but alcohol brings it all out)
i think i'd like that guy to die the most painful, horrible death in the world. i think that would be GREAT!

see, i told you, i'm a huge asshole. who else, besides an asshole, would wish such horrible things upon someone else? (even if they did ruin other peoples' lives with their actions.)

someone do me a favor, and the next time they see me, give me a swift kick in the temple. put me in a coma for a few days. that would probably help me write about more interesting stuff, other than star magazine.
although star magazine is a huge void-filler for me.

could things get anymore ridiculously stupid? let me know. maybe you'll replace star magazine. i think everyone who reads this is of great importance to me. rip the star magazine out of my hands and make me read about murders instead. or something else. i really don't care.

smarty pants.

2006-10-26T02:43:00.000-03:00

my confidence in my intellect was given a boost a few weeks ago. i'll tell you a little story.

we were driving to antigonish from the city for thanksgiving. my mother the driver, myself the passenger, my brother asleep in the back seat, my poor cat whining from her carrier in the back seat.
my mother and i were discussing my work ethic during high school. i had barely scraped by. i had stopped going to math class, at my teacher's request. i was passing because i spouted bullshit in entrepreneurship, took art classes and core french classes, and had a pervert for a biology teacher. i think my highest mark was an 80, and that was in art class. everything else was between 50 and 60 (except math, i got a 29%)
at my graduation ceremony, we were given cards with our names and accomplishments on them to hand to the guidance counsellor when we went up onto the stage. there were basically two groups of card holders. one group had a card full of scholarships and awards, and the other group had nothing but their names written on the cards. i was part of the latter (well, i had written 'great achievements in mediocrity' on my card. the guidance counsellor was ABOUT to read it, until she realized what it said and closed her mouth)
anyway, when i was talking about it with my mother, i was pretty much laughing at my terrible high school career. she was getting very irritated. she said 'wait until we get home, i have something to show you.'
when we got to the house, she went into her room and produced a paper that she gave to me to read. apparently i had received the highest mark in all of nova scotia in the past 2 years on my grade 12 english provincial exam. i thought 'that's strange, didn't i get like, a 60 in english?' THEN i remembered i got a 60 because i did absolutely NOTHING in english class except read the books i wanted to read, then not write any papers about them.

it was a nice boost to my dying ego. someone's gonna have to pop my head with a pin sometime soon

'weegee- a.k.a. arthur felling...'

2006-10-24T00:57:00.000-03:00

'...felling won the nickname 'weegee' from new york homicide detectives, because he was always on a crime scene before the other news photogrophers, and occasionally the police themselves. they joked that he must be using a ouji board to get scoops from the spirit world.'

i just finished reading a book called 'illustrated true crime: a photographic record'
and boy, was it ever photographic. some of those pictures are going to haunt me longer than what i saw at my recent viewing of 'texas chainsaw massacre-the beginning.' (the movie wasn't scary, just gory as fuck. i had to take a break to have a cigarette before continuing to watch the mindless dismemberment of a few unlucky individuals at the hands of leatherface)

anyway, weegee was a successful crime photographer in the 40s. most photo journalists could only get pictures of the dead bodies after the police had covered them with the white sheet. or they only got photos of the chalk outlines and blood stains. not weegee, he got the full deal. and newspapers actually printed these horrific pictures.

this book was mesmerizing. but, that might be because my childhood was spent listening to stories my dad told me and watching crime television with him, instead of dawson's creek. if you don't enjoy graphic pictures of dead people or stories about deadly murders, i wouldn't recommend it.
ask me anything about crime between 1864 and 2000, and i will be able to answer your questions sans difficulty.

oh, and by the way, weegee was not some wizard who talked to dead people about future murders. he lived in a van and listened, illegally, to a police line on his radio. he would drive to the crime scene as quick as possible and shoot.

we are the champions, my friend

2006-10-20T10:07:00.000-03:00

right now, i feel like john cusack in high fidelity after he leaves lisa bonet's apartment and the song 'we are the champions' is playing.
i don't want to go to work. i want to lie in bed and read my book on crime. i want to lie in bed and go 'sigh' all day

fuck this and fuck that

2006-10-19T00:30:00.000-03:00

fuck it all and fuck the fucking brat

i'm going to do a cover of 'bodies' by the sex pistols.
why?

1) because it will be perfect
2) i love that song, as much as i love the sex pistols. and that's a fair amount
3) because i can
4) because i think it will be neat.

the state of hollywood, at the moment, is disgusting

2006-10-14T00:21:00.000-03:00

today i was reading a star magazine, and i threw it at the wall.
there is always a page about the progressively uninteresting life of lindsay lohan. she got drunk and didn't go to work? old news. she sang sweet child o' mine again at a bar? not interested. she broke up with ANOTHER boyfriend? we've heard it all before. i kind of hope she has a nervous breakdown, like mariah carey or margot kidder and leaves the spotlight for awhile. that would make me happy.
and this anna nicole smith character. besides naming her baby something stupid (daniellyn. yeah, not only is it ugly but it's going to remind her of her dead son for the rest of her little daughter's life) BUT this terrible THING (i wouldn't go so far as to call her a woman) was taking methadone during her pregnancy, she's keeping the ID of the real father a mystery, and 'married' her lawyer while her dead son is still lying in a funeral home. he died like, 2 weeks ago or something. gross gross gross. i hope the real father of the baby is the photographer larry. and i hope he wins custody and never let's this monster see her baby.

ON TOP OF ALL OF THIS
they're accusing jennifer aniston of getting multiple plastic surgeries, including breast implants. jeez.
and there is a four page story on jessica simpson and how pathetic she is. no kidding.

star magazine, and it's copycats (us weekly, in touch weekly, etc): i suggest you set the bar a little higher. i'm going to stop paying my $5 a magazine pretty soon. and that's a big deal.

in other news, i'm chopping all my hair off. all of it will be gone tomorrow. i hope it doesn't look absoloutely terrible. but i just don't have time for hair. and i'm looking a little too 'kelly osbourne' these days. that's about it.

antigonish: land of 2 crosswalks and roadkill

2006-10-09T00:04:00.000-03:00

and counting:
1 gigantic thanksgiving meal
1 delicious mcdonalds poutine (an antigonish delicacy)
1 slice of the wheel pizza (also an antigonish delicacy)
8 dead raccoons in an 8 km stretch
5000 middle aged people wearing x rings. working at convenience stores.
12 jay walkers i let cross, while scores of angry drivers beeped at me from behind
1 store open on sunday (needs. thankfully all i needed was cigarettes and a toothbrush)
6 conversations with people i graduated with whose names i couldn't remember
6000000 sightings of birkenstocks worn with socks
antigonish=priceless

ps i stood outside the respect life centre wishing it was open. sigh.

my mind secedes

2006-10-05T17:00:00.000-03:00

i hate crying because it makes me feel weaker, when i'm already feeling weak. it makes me feel less mediocre, which is a title i'm starting to deal with, and more useless.
i hate crying because it's better to keep those terrible things that eat your heart inside of you, eating your heart. instead of a salty, liquid secretion from your eyes.

i just had a conversation with lil about cracking under pressure, and having to be bailed out. i've got a lot of weight on my shoulders when it comes to money,school and my parents. he's going to help me get rid of it.

lil is a wonderful man. i'd call him my mentor, but he'd probably be embarrased.

2006-10-04T16:47:00.000-03:00

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

joe version 2.0: the story of the talentless hack

2006-10-03T00:49:00.000-03:00

i want to write a play. i want to write one about a lead singer of a band in los angeles that can't write songs, is physically unappealing and has the charisma of a carrot. lets call him bob.
bob dreams of being famous and having total strangers admire him and want to give him blowjobs. but he's going nowhere. his girlfriend leaves him because his band isn't popular, and his band members do the same.

so poor bob is left all alone. his girlfriend falls in love with this charming, talented bloke. let's call him joe. he writes amazing songs and is lovely in every way. his band members fall in love with joe as well, and they start a fabulous band that all the important people love.

bob is outraged and jealous. he wants to murder joe and steal his life. so he uses a young, crude, love starved plastic surgeon named fran. fran is such a terrible plastic surgeon, she isn't even ranked on the list of the worst plastic surgeons in LA. but she's good enough to do what bob wants. she transforms him into an ironically attractive rock star. with scars and everything. he changes his name to what else: joe.

bob/joe kidnaps joe and keeps him in his basement. with the world thinking joe is dead, bob/joe is set and determined to fill his shoes. he joins the band, he gets his old girlfriend back, and the band becomes famous.

after a long nationwide tour, bob/joe comes home to a dead joe, and a distraught fran.
what will become of joe/bob? what will become of his fabulous band? who knows. i'll have to write the play

another hungry mouth to feed

2006-09-27T15:56:00.000-03:00

in the ghetto.

i've been stressed, but alright at the same time.
the lab was wicked yesterday. 6 hours of museum pieces goodness, with special guest christian simmons.
after the lab a few more hours of museum pieces at the seahorse. garett is the person i've been spending most of my time with. in class and outside smoking.
can someone do me a favor and pry open the bars on my window and knock down my door?

my dad's doing alright now. but i've had the pleasure of listening to conversations about how much cops fucking suck. which is lovely.

derrick!?! where are you!?! are you back yet!?!

could someone beat the shit out of me please?

2006-09-20T16:21:00.000-03:00

i want to feel better about my dad

fegjtw

2006-09-19T19:40:00.000-03:00

my parents were back again today. my dad's not doin so well. it's just his shoulder but, still. it's enough to worry about.

i kind of got drunk with them at dinner tonight. i got 3 double gin and cranberries. it cost $18. my dad got mad and made me leave the tip. they brought me to the military base where they're staying. it was WEIIIIRRRDDD

sweet babe. let me stroke it

2006-09-13T18:44:00.000-03:00

pj harvey is awsome

my parents brought me my new computar yesterday. nothing is better than being sprawled out in the middle of a (clean) floor updating my blog and singing along to 'rub 'til it bleeds' on my new (to me) ibook g3. it's so clean and white.

my parents took myself, my brother, jordan's brother daniel and jenny to the italian market to sample some of it's goods.
my mother agreed that my boss looks exactly like prince humperdink. it's uncanny.

my father had his surgery this morning. i hate his job. he's been shot, beaten, and hated by so many people because of his profession. i feel selfish all the time that i'm the only reason he hasn't retired. i wish i knew who busted his shoulder.

'i would masacre them unrecognizable; i would beat them so hard, their grandchildren would come out bruised'
-me, being menacing

to the creep in the basement apartment next door

2006-09-10T09:12:00.000-03:00

although i appreciate not hearing you have raunchy sex anymore, the BLARING TECHNO MUSIC is no alternative!!!!!!!!!!!

you need to recgonize that there is a WALL between me, you and whatever weird skank you're banging. and when a 19 year old is in total old lady stance, banging on her bedroom wall and yelling "SHUT UPPPPPPPPPPPPPP"

TURN IT DOWN.

i didn't fall asleep until 5 fucking am. and i work in 45 minutes.
mother fucker