my mind secedes

i hate crying because it makes me feel weaker, when i'm already feeling weak. it makes me feel less mediocre, which is a title i'm starting to deal with, and more useless.
i hate crying because it's better to keep those terrible things that eat your heart inside of you, eating your heart. instead of a salty, liquid secretion from your eyes.

i just had a conversation with lil about cracking under pressure, and having to be bailed out. i've got a lot of weight on my shoulders when it comes to money,school and my parents. he's going to help me get rid of it.

lil is a wonderful man. i'd call him my mentor, but he'd probably be embarrased.