i love jen

jen is my best friend.

i haven't had a lot of best friends in the past.
my friends are my friends. i see them all the time.
but jen. that's a different story.

jen.
she became by best friend when she walked home with me from the apple barrel once.
we talked about my crush on sean macgillivray.
she was around when that crush died.
she was around for pretty much everything.
this year has been extraordinary. emotionally, it's been the worst year of my life.
my first best friend died. she was my best friend when we were 5 or 6 years old. her father is severly distrurbed, psychologically, and she died when she asked her father to kill her. and he did. he beat her head in with a hammer. after i heard this news, i wanted to die a little bit. but jen was around. she didn't know the whole story, but no matter what, she was still around.
i don't care what fucking shit people have with her. she is my best friend in the world. and those people can say whatever they want. this girl is part of me now.

jen, seriously, i don't know what i would do without you right now. we have to talk serious about something very soon. it's something very serious i've brought up previously. i'll explain face to face.

i just thought, right now, that i should express that you are my very best friend. and i don't think i could ever lose you as a best friend.

alright. off to bed. then to work. then to figure out how to tell someone something that is weird and scary.